Trading in Masculinity and Femininity for "Humaninity"

Far too often men and women are categorized into two domains as either a feminine person or masculine person. Along with these categories obviously come a type of checklist to ensure you meet the criteria to be placed in either one of them (not both). If you're a man with large muscles, athletic, and dominant, you epitomize what it means to be masculine. If you stay home to do laundry, clean the house or take care of your appearance, you epitomize what it means to be feminine. Not surprisingly, in order to fit into either one of the categories you must exhibit classic gender norms that have been created and perpetuated by society for decades. To be masculine or feminine is to be the "cookie-cutter" male or female in society, fulfilling all your proper gender roles and ensuring those roles are upheld. If one strays from this conforming behavior they are ostracized and humiliated for being something less than a man -- a woman. If a woman strays from their roles, they too are seen as less of a woman and something not fit for the title of feminine. I propose that as a society these roles or categories are eliminated and replaced with one, unifying role of "humaninity". Drummond and Messner provide evidence as to why these categories are damaging to people as a whole. 

Messner examines how the culture of sports among men essentially advocates violence towards one another and how this violence is a legitimate means to an end. Violence is used to obtain goals and garner respect amongst peers, as well as to convey a sense of masculinity. Athletes feel a sense of calm and "at home" when on their respective playing fields and almost relish in being able to use their bodies as instruments to obtain respect, goals, etc. However, when this use of the body is no longer feasible, whether due to injury, age, or other reasons, men feel threatened about how to proceed. They feel as if their masculinity has diminished in some regard. For example, a young man compares his football skills to that of his father by saying that he was "a killer, an animal, a man. And I wasn't." The young man feels as if he isn't a man because he isn't an animal or killer on the field. By not using the body in a particular way to enact aggression (at least in the realm of sports), men are seen as less masculine and perhaps more like a girl. Violence and aggression are encouraged in order to be deemed a masculine male. 

Further, Drummond explores the challenges gay men face to conform to the notion of masculinity. In order to fit in to society or a given situation, gay men will take on different approaches or appearances in order to appear more masculine to others. This constant battle to sway back and forth between different versions of masculinity, or the "correct" way to be masculine causes a variety of problems for men mentally, socially, and even physically. As a result, gay men are more susceptible to eating disorders and a variety of other issues.

Hopefully, it has become clear the damage these categories of masculine and feminine can create. While reading Messner and Drummond, the question of why masculinity (and femininity) exists pervaded my thoughts. Perhaps it's just a way to make the categorization of people, and thus their interactions, simpler in day to day life. A quick and unconscious process to facilitate judgements about people. However, my concept of "humaninity" would encompass what it means to be a human in society, not just a man or a woman. Exhibiting morally just behavior or attempting to be altruistic would meet the criteria of humaninity and not muscle mass or loads of laundry done. I would like to believe that trading in for this new category would substantially reduce the stigma that is associated with females being "too masculine" and males too feminine. Although, my hopes in dismantling gender norms and roles that have existed practically since the beginning of time are likely slim to none. On the other hand, who is to say otherwise? 

First hits of Google searches of "masculine" and "feminine":